It’s what’s for dinner!

Posted on May 18, 2012 by admin

Picture this.  A bunch of marketing and product management type folks sitting around a table trying to decide what to call there new food product.  Often, discussions like that involve trying to add some romanticized idea of far away places or bygone eras.  The guys who worked on this product just didn’t put any effort in at all.  ”Potted Meat Food Product”?  Maybe the meeting was late on a friday afternoon before a long weekend and they just wanted to get out early.

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A New Definition of Hell

Posted on March 29, 2012 by Geez

CastleI was recently at a professional conference held at the Grand Floridian Hotel at Disney World. I could deal with the 8.7 Gazillion little kids running around. I could tolerate the omnipresent Mickey Mouse images abso-freakin’ everywhere (attached are pictures of the lamp and the arrangement of towels in my room).  Mickey is apparently revered here like Kim Jong Un is in North Korea.

The first thing to drive me me to violent acts, however, was the 80% Disney content on the TV system — and half of it is in Spanish, so you can get wholesome in two languages. You can get Fox News for some reason (but only in English).Mouse Towel

All the female staff members were dressed like Amish spinster aunties and the male staff members were wearing light blue seersucker suits with red vests and saddle shoes. And all so goddam pleasant.

The true horror of this place, is just that — all the staff — EVERY SINGLE F__KING MEMBER OF THE F__KING STAFF — greets you with a cheery “Hello there!”, “Where are you visiting from?”, “Have a Magical Day!”, “I hope you’re enjoying your stay with us!”, “How can we make your stay more pleasant?” ARGH!

I’m convinced that they all have explosive devices implanted in their heads and if they don’t act syrupy nice, the Evil Disney Overlords will exterminate them.  This really came across to me as the Village of the Damned.Mouse Lamp

I decided that I had to find out if they have belly buttons. Are they real humans or cleverly engineered robots? Not quite sure how I’ll find out. It may be on the news later….

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The Truth about 9/11

Posted on February 22, 2012 by Geez

Oh, sure, we’ve all heard the various conspiracy theories about who was really behind the events on 9/11. But I’ll tell you what I think really happened. In the Fall of 2001 I worked for a company that specialized in security systems for buildings. We were working with a large cosmetics company who wanted to expand their research and development labs in central New Jersey. The plan was that the company was going to merge their European research operations in Nice on the French Mediterranen coast with their US research facility. Research scientists were to be relocated from one of the most beautiful places on the planet to a spot in the industrial belt with noise, pollution and traffic. The attack came while the planning and buildout of the new facility was still in process. Our client decided to halt the combination of the two research units and move their executive offices from New York to the New Jersey location  instead. Based on this fact alone, I am convinced that 9/11 was not the work of terrorists, but of cosmetics researchers who did not want to relocate from the French Riviera to New Jersey.

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The Two Thirds Rule

Posted on February 4, 2012 by Geez

Think about this when you read about the news coverage of the bailout of the financial sector, the incoming administration, or even just your employers plans for the new year…

There was a professor my senior year in college who made a profound impact on the way I think. He would show how mathematical analyses could be fundamentally flawed, how inadequately tested theories would be put forth and generally accepted, and how improperly managed data could undermine the rigor of an analysis.

My favorite nugget was what I call “The Two-Thirds Rule”, which goes:

“Take a population to study. Divide it by whatever means or metric you wish into three equal groups: average, above average and below average. Now look at what you’ve got.

Two thirds of that population is mediocre at best…”

Now try not to think about the people controlling the world’s arsenal of nuclear weapons. Or about any government’s emergency response program after a natural disaster. Or about combating a pandemic. Or fixing the financial system.

Could we establish a plan or program to protect ourselves? Sure– but two thirds of the people on the team that develops the plan are mediocre at best…

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Analysis of Santa’s Delivery Process

Posted on December 24, 2011 by Geez

OK, let’s think about this:

He makes a list and marks it with who is naughty or nice — suggesting that the proportion of naughty children to nice children is near equal and somewhat dynamic. If there was a significant skew toward naughty or nice he would employ blacklist/whitelist procedures to make delivery planning easier. This implies that there has to be a LOT of coal because nearly half of all little boys and girls are “naughty”. (This also raises the question of whether the list is maintained in real-time and if they use transactional guarantees to ensure that the integrity of the list is maintained — but I won’t go into that here — maybe next year…)

Is there a separate just-in-time delivery process for coal? If there were and considering the volume of coal delivery required, much more Christmas lore would be directed at that system. I think we can discount the JIT coal delivery hypothesis.

Is there a supply of coal on board that we can’t see? Probably not because the mass of the sleigh, toys and coal when Santa initiates his route would be considerable — and if he’s hauling coal, it would probably be for an additional power source to supplement the reindeer on the first half of the delivery route when the sleigh and cargo are heaviest. But coal must not be used for fuel or the sleigh would have a large boiler and smoke stack which is certainly not in any of the traditional images of the sleigh.

Is there coal mixed in with the bag of toys? If so, wouldn’t the good children’s presents be sooty and grimy from the coal?

Are there separate compartments in the bag for presents and coal? If the density of the coal is significantly different than that of the toys, that may make the bag unwieldy to manage. Also carrying a bag with a significant amount of coal into every home probably violates some local and regional ordinances.

Does he use his super Santa strength to crush the bad children’s presents into black lumps? That seems especially cruel and would consume a considerable amount of energy. And it’s probably not efficient to produce a toy and then crush it down into a lump just prior to delivery. (Though I admit this option appeals to me at some perverse level.)

No, I think the answer is elsewhere. Look again at the configuration of the sleigh. There is a component of the system architecture that can produce dark worthless lumps. In fact, there are eight of them (nine if you count Rudolf). So it’s not coal that’s being left to the naughty children…

I hope you’ve been good this year.
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Hotell Amigo

Posted on September 4, 2011 by Geez

In August I found myself in the small manufacturing town of Emmaboda Sweden. The place we were staying was a Spanish/Mexican themed hotel named the Hotell Amigo. While the hotel itself was nice, there were a few things that just struck me as odd. Such as this: a pedestal with a snare drum on it. No label, no explanation, no nothin’. Just a drum. Maybe it’s just a Swedish thing.

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The Passing of an Old Friend

Posted on June 12, 2011 by Geez

On Tuesday, May 10, 2011, a close friend passed away unexpectedly. Omar Ahmad was Mayor of San Carlos, CA when he suffered the heart attack that ended his whirlwind career spanning both high technology innovation and public service. Omar was a serial entrepreneur with a number of successful company launches to his credit. I had the privilege of being involved with several of them. Omar had a unique blend of vision, compassion, enthusiasm and humor. He was 46. He will be missed.

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Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is?

Posted on August 30, 2010 by Geez

On a recent business trip, I was passing through the Amtrak station in Wilmington, Delaware. As you can tell, the station is undergoing a major facelift. Hopefully, the budget allows for clock repair as I noticed that the two faces of the clock in the tower showed different times. The correct time when this picture was taken was 2:35PM.

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The Mike O’Meara Show

Posted on April 29, 2010 by Geez


Getting a recommendation from Rock Bottom BBS is like getting a kiss from your 90 year old great aunt — it doesn’t make your day and it’s not something you’ll tell your friends about. However, I have got to recommend — nay, require — all you fabulous readers out there to go to The Mike O’Meara Show website. It’s available as a podcast through iTunes. Mike O’Meara is the “Mike” part of the old Don and Mike Show from radio, popular in the Washington/Baltimore corridor. Sure, there is some local referrnces — like knocking back some Nattie Bo’s while watching the O’s. Mike O’Meara “broadcasts” these days from his living room in Manassas, VA. It will change your life — possibly for the better.

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The Magic That is Baltimore

Posted on November 9, 2009 by Geez

I was in Ellicott City, MD (outside Baltimore) last weekend to see what antiques looked like in the rain. (They looked wet). I went by a shop window with a wonderful display of a veritable fairyland with nymphs and castles and dragons and witches– and the Bromo Seltzer Tower.

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